Sayings

Things I have said

There's no such thing as too much fun or too much sleep.
Patience comes to those who wait.
Time may not heal all wounds, but it is an effective salve.
I don't care what people think about me, as long as it's the truth!
I don't serve chaos, it serves me.
Better to be paranoid than caught.
When in doubt, peel out. (Jeff in a dream)
It's not just where you go, it's how you get there.
The safe and narrow path is not for me.
If you are going to put all of your eggs in one basket, at least make sure the bottom won't fall out.
It only exists when I need it, and then only as long as I do. (Eric's Philosophy of life)
She was so nice she gave me a disease.
God invented belching so people that eat too fast could taste their food.
Luck does not usually protect one from their own idiocy.
When you have a crowbar, the window of opportunity is often open.
Properly harnessed, obsession can be a good thing.

Things other people I know have said

Short attention spam = when you only read the first line of junk mail - Matt
There is no gain without risk. -Manny
I pity the human race, Steve defends them, and you hate them. -Manny (to me)
Some things are worth doing, just to freak other people out. -Jeff
I have the secret weapon - I don't care. -Jeff
I derailed my train of thought. -Eric
I have a photographic memory, but I don't know what kind of film to use. -Eric
It's like there is a little red light flashing in my head, but I can't read it because the warning is scratched off. -Eric
The way to go, if you've got lots of dough-- to blow. -Steve
Life's a Bitch, and so am I. -Trisha Downing
They (the Ancient Greeks) saw the future as something that came upon them from behind their backs with the past receding before their eyes. -Robert M. Pirsig
That which we would do we should do when we would for this world changes. -Stone pillar at Mt. Calvary cemetery
They must be serious, they have a Maglite. -Dude at Dam
Pride goeth before the fall. -Unknown
We often criticize things about others that we dislike about ourselves. -Unknown
Out of sight, out of mind. -Unknown
I can stand the despair, it's the hope! -Clockwise
Set your microwave for stun. -Unknown
Marry yourself. -Jenny
I live for change. - Jenny
A step in a new direction. -Jenny
Goodbye, Goodbye -Morality Question Book (?)
If you rely only on your eyes, your other senses weaken. -Bene Gesserit axiom (Dune)
Sloppy eaters make good lovers. - Sylvain
Coincidence is a virtue. - Sylvain
The Devil is in the details. -Ron
The path is made by walking on it. -Chuang Tzu
Life can't be that bad if there are orgasms in it. -Jeff
Memory is more like a duffel bag than a filing cabinet. –Unknown
Technical support isn't. –Dave
I forget. –Jeff

Mixed Clichés and other weird stuff:

• He shit his bricks -Steve Spicer
  He shit bricks - He shit his pants
• Kill 'em up -Manny
  Kill 'em all - Shoot 'em up
• I am going to give you the shadow of the doubt -Frank
  Give you the benefit of the doubt - Beyond a shadow of a doubt
• Quit standing over my neck -Monte Myers
  Standing over my shoulder - Breathing down my neck
• I want to ask you something when you get a free chance -Monte Myers
  When you get a chance - When you get a free moment
• Dry as a whistle -Nina Hade
  Clean as a whistle - Dry as a bone
• He took his eyes off the wheel -Deborah
  Hands off the wheel - Eyes off the road
• One hand scratches the other's back -Mike Cohen
  One hand washes the other - You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours
• As clear as silk -Don Smith
  Smooth as silk - Clear as a bell
• Out of it, like a light -Tim Mazzarini
  Out like a light - Out of it
• I'd open up a whole kettle of beans
  Kettle of fish - Hill of beans
• By the nick of my teeth -Kyle Betterton
  skin of my teeth - in the nick of time
• Wake up and smell the roses -Jill Brown
  wake up and smell the coffee - stop and smell the roses
• We have to be on our P's and Q's -Annamay Tonner
  be on our best behavior - watch our P's and Q's
• That would be like second hat to you -Melinda
  like second nature - like old hat
• You've got it all blown out of shape -Greg Williams
  blown out of proportion - bent out of shape
• He was breathing down my throat -Woman in Chinese restaurant
  breathing down my neck - ramming it down my throat
• It's just the cherry on the cake -Dave
  icing on the cake - cheery on top
• He was thrown off guard -Greg Williams
  caught off guard - thrown off balance
• I was the cat's shit -Greg Williams
  the cat's meow - hot shit
• You're not out of the clear yet. -CountryHam
  out of the woods - into the clear
• 'til all hell freezes over -CountryHam
  'til hell freezes over - all hell breaks lose
• There's snow on the roof, but nobody's home. -CountryHam
  the lights are on but nobody's home - there's snow on the roof but fire in the oven
• That's a ball game of a different color. -Stein (from City of Angels)
  horse of a different color - whole other ball game

• When worse comes to shove. –Scott
  worse comes to worst – push comes to shove

Other weird things people I know have said